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You have done it you’ve conquered the unknown world of online relationships and have found “the one” that you want to meet in person. The one you want to hold and touch in a manner more tangible than just a meeting of minds. How will you go about doing this? Well the first thing to be done is to assess how the other feels about people in online relationships meeting offline. Are they all for it? Are they hesitant?

Whatever their response try and determine why and try and understand and alleviate their concerns in order to make them more comfortable with the idea of meeting. Once you feel that they are in a more receptive place mentally to actually meeting you need to ask them if they would like to actually meet you. If they show more hesitation you may have to dig deeper to discover if there is more that is encouraging their hesitancy. Something they have yet to express or may be too fearful to tell you. If it has nothing to do with that and they just want to maintain an online only friendship (by chat or social networking) then you may have to determine whether you want to continue the relationship, or if you can do so without becoming too emotionally involved in a relationship that will never amount to anything offline.

If they do say yes then you have to determine where and when that will coincide with both your schedules and lives. Another concern is travel costs can either of you afford it. If you’re both local it is not a problem and the local coffee shop for a first meeting is common. If you are both long distance it becomes a little more difficult but certainly not impossible.

Once you have dealt with any travel issues you will have to become mentally prepared for the first meeting. Do not let last minute fears overwhelm you. Remind yourself that if they loved you enough to want to meet you that they are also just as much emotionally invested and possibly as nervous as you are. In our fears we have a tendency to think we are alone and don’t necessarily realize that the other person may be feeling the exact same way. You can pre-empt a lot of possible behavioural mistakes by asking before you enact them or even via voice or text before you meet. “Can I hug you?” or “What are your boundaries on touching on first meeting someone?” Once you do meet you can simply treat it as you would a normal offline encounter with the added bonus that you have already covered a lot of ground which would normally take many meetings to determine, so in many ways you are ahead of the game in terms of emotional intimacy.

Once you meet the rules of engagement become tailored to the relationship and your comfort level. Go at your own pace and remember that nothing is set in stone. Appreciate building a relationship that works offline as well as online.