Open Dating: Open Season

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Friday, 18 May 2012

Open Dating: Open Season

 

Polyamorous is a term that few are used to seeing openly admitted to in the dating world. We are familiar with the practice of polygamy which is a marriage involving more than one woman. But what is it like to be polyamorous and what role does it play in modern dating?

 

Individuals who indicate that they are polyamorous imply that they are not seeking a monogamous situation. They tend to be “serial daters” or individuals who enjoy dating more than one person at the same time. While more conventional people may regard that as infidelity the modern dater is open and honest about their intentions. With clarity right from the beginning of any relationship, an open relationship has its own set of rules, opportunities and detriments. It can be entirely exciting and adventurous or it can result in hurt feelings and stress depending entirely on the perspective of the individual involved.

Some issues or problems encountered with open dating revolve around jealousy and proprietorship. The classic archetype of a romantic relationship is the assumption of fidelity and most people are raised with that paradigm. However having a relationship that is entirely devoid of proprietorship is difficult for most and nearly impossible for some and two key factors come into play when considering your ability to engage in an “open” relationship.

Jealousy

You may think you are okay with dating someone who is dating other people. On the onset if you are the type of person who is career focused you might not want the responsibilities of a serious committed relationship. You may be seeking something light hearted and fun with few expectations of your time. That structure and concept works as long as you are the person who is being pursued and architecting your own space. If the other person in the non-relationship is independent however and not willing to pursue or may even appear ambivalent most times, the lack of attention can turn into jealously quite quickly particularly if your partner begins to spend more time with the other person.

Safe Sex Concerns

The risk for sexually transmitted diseases increases with promiscuity. Arguably this is the biological reason around the socio-cultural belief structure around monogamy. If you are in an open relationship you are exposing yourself to a high risk of acquiring a sexually transmitted disease. While precautions might be taken, some diseases like HPV can be transmitted from the thigh or other areas of the body not protected with profilactics. Is the fun worth the increased risk? Only you can decide. You have no control or even idea how many sexual partners your partner has had, or continues to have while you are involved with him or her in an open relationship. This can present undue risk.

When encountering a request to consider an open relationship, some much needed introspection is required to determine if it is an arrangement that is really going to make you happy. It can be wrought with unexpected stressors or feelings of neglect and anxiety or it can be an exciting and liberating experience overall. One of the popular options for single people to consider when venturing into the dating world.